I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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