If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
this hospital has no fireball
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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