I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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