I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
