He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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