She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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