it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
