Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the condom got lost in my hair
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
