yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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