I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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