I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
