DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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