question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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