worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
