Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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