I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
