I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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