i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
