You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
