Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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