i already hear my dad disowning me
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
