it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
