ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
