I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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