I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
