I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize