Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
