So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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