careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
