Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
