I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize