What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
