why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
