so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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