YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
