She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
