you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
