She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize