Whod you bang
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
