Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
