Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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