It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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