Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
