I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
