My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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