You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
