i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
