somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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