If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
