How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
