I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize