ugly people sure do ruin things
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
