This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
