Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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