with your own penis?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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