This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
