he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
