Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
