i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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