I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you would pick up someone in the library
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
