And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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