Tell her she can't have a vagina
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
