he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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