You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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