Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
